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  #1  
Old 04-04-2008, 01:25 AM
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Default A shot story.
Give me feedback on this short story, be brutal if you have to.

http://salky.proboards35.com/index.c...ead=1207286503
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  #2  
Old 04-04-2008, 03:43 PM
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you spelled short wrong
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  #3  
Old 04-04-2008, 05:30 PM
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Not going to lie, it was painful reading that; grammatical/spelling errors doesn't really help in making it flow well.

Apart from that, what was the central point of the story?
"Salkand showing off" doesn't really sell it.
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